**there will be a blog post added eventually to this in the future so please watch the video for now and comment below with any thoughts or questions.**

You want to lose weight.  So you clean up your diet and you start to exercise.  This sounds like a good plan.

But let me ask you- how did you get to where you are now?  Are you an emotional eater?  Are you someone who does not exercise regularly and lack motivation?

Many people start on a weight loss journey focused on temporary change.  “If I go on a diet, I can lose the weight”.  You have all heard this before.

But let’s look at from an attraction point of view.

If you focus on weight loss, you set up a resistance to food, exercise and a lifestyle change.  Because you are only focused on a number and not the behavior, the thoughts, or the feelings associated with the weight you gained.

As you clean up your diet and exercise more, you may lose the weight you want.  But because you never addressed the beliefs or feelings around how you live, eat and exercise, 9 times out of 10 you gain the weight back.

Problem #1: Temporary change.  You want fast weight loss, you change lots of things.  Then you feel deprived because it was too much change too soon, you consider it a diet and then you rebel and “celebrate” once you have reached your goal-which usually starts the habits and patterns that have you gain the weight right back.

Solution: Clean up your life, not just your diet.  Start to “think thin” like we do on our 6 Week Beach Body Program.  Download the 4 week plan of Fit 2 Love and REALLY do the exercises especially around the food.  Make one change every month so you make it part of your daily or weekly routine.  Post a comment on this blog so I can give you more specific action steps to implement into your life.  I AM a problem solver so let me help you!

Problem #2: Delaying your happiness.  “I’ll only be happy when I lose 10 pounds”.  This statement goes against your inner being and your higher self so your body and spirit say “ then you will never be happy “  and your body says “ if you can’t love me the way I am, then I am NOT changing for you!”  Your “then” never comes.  There is always something else.  You set yourself up to fail IMMEDIATELY and delay your happiness and results in the process.  Accepting yourself where you are, as you are, right now is the ONLY way to make a real shift.  Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time until you and your body go back to the exact state it was in before or worse.

Solution: Find appreciation with your body and health right now. When you do that, you release resistance and your body will shift ad change.  Your body will appreciate the love and positive attention and respond JUST like a person.  You can download the free Fit 2 Love 4 Week Plan and start changing your relationship with your body and practice being happy NOW.  Let’s face it, one of the only reasons you want to lose weight in the first place is because you THINK you will be happy once you get it.  So pretend you have it now and stop delaying the HAPPY PART!  It gets you no where to hold your ground of unhappiness.  You practice that and that’s what you are good at.  So when you get to “happy”, you might not stay there long because you are too good at “unhappy”.

**What you lose, you can find. Don’t concentrate on loss but on transformation and releasing.**

JJ Flizanes is the author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core.  She was named best personal trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine and is the Director of Invisible Fitness. JJ’s passion is helping men and women get results with their body and love on the outside as well as the inside. View JJ on video on YouTube or visit her blog at http://www.jjflizanes.com.

**This is an excerp from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” Thornton Wilder

Please understand that you are perfect just the way you are right now. The journey you are on is unique and special. There is nothing wrong or broken about you. Your mind and body are working perfectly even when they are doing things you don’t like.

You get constant feedback from your body and emotions about where you are in the moment so you can decide where you want to go next. This is a spiritual journey, as much as a physical and emotional journey, of changing your body and manifesting love from within, as well as from another.

While there are many factors in life that are out of your control, you do have the ability to manage your thoughts and how you react to every situation. How you perceive your experiences will color the kinds of emotions attached to them. Choosing a more positive and hopeful outlook will produce better feelings. There are always two points of view to choose from in every situation: what is working and what is not.

Focus on what is working to practice gratitude every single day. This will not only help you manifest more of what you want, it will also make you happy immediately. When you can control your thoughts and feelings, you influence your happiness. If you find this difficult to do or sustain on your own, talking to someone like a psychologist, counselor, or life coach can help you shift your thoughts and change your feelings. Start by thanking your lucky stars.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is appreciation for people, places, and things, as well as,
for ideas, qualities, and feelings
Gratitude is thankfulness, and I use it like a key
a key to inspire strangers, my friends, and me
a key to life that sets me free
a key to heal insult and injury
a key to awareness, when I refuse to dream
a key to finding forgiveness and feeling peace
a key to manifest my desires, what I want, and who I choose to be
a key to light the dark times, when I can’t see
a key to expressing my preferences, what I love, the real me
a key to feeling the present moment, gently
a key to reconnect me to humility
a key to boundless opportunity, when I get caught in my limited certainty
a key to transcendence, imagination, and epiphany
a key to turn the hardest moment into a glorious journey
a key to the only foolproof system of love in the galaxy
a key to access infinite possibilities
and when I share my gratitude, gratitude enriches you and me
Gratitude is actually the doorway, choice is the real key
The best part about gratitude is that gratitude is always… absolutely… free!

“Gratitude is” by Macarena Luz Bianchi

I filmed the video above on a day I wasn’t feeling so good.  It has been a crazy and slightly emotional week and through it all, I can still focus on what is going well in my life and practice what I preach!

I invite you to watch the video and start to implement DAILY practices into your life that focus you on what IS working instead of what is missing or going not the way you want it.

We all have bad days but HOW you deal with it determines how you create your life.

This is an excerpt from my book, Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”                                  Virginia Woolf

We have lost touch with our relationship to food. With at least three opportunities every day to practice receiving the transfer of energy from our meals to our cells, eating has become a source of confusion and conflict, rather than a delightful pleasure. The lack of respect and abuse of food is one of the reasons why our health, as a culture, is rapidly declining. For some of us, the concept of doing anything except ordering in or going out seems like too much work. Our lives are too busy to slow down and prepare a home-cooked meal. Having a food love affair means having a deep, meaningful, respectful, and loving relationship to the food we put in our bodies.

In cultures throughout history, hunting, gathering, raising, and preparing foods was an honored and respected daily ritual. People were in tune with the abundance of each season and the different foods the earth provided throughout the year. Modern living has taken away the need of our attention to this. If you are looking for love, practice these principles with your food first. You have to create a love affair with food to attract the respect of your body and have success with health and weight management. To heal the obsession of dieting and calorie counting, you are going to treat food as your new lover, with whom you see the potential for a committed relationship. Rather than making food the enemy, you want to fall in love with food.

The Courtship

When you meet a man who interests you, the curiosity can be overwhelming. You want to know so many things: Who he is? Where he is from? What does he do for a living? How was he raised? Passion and excitement surround the quest for knowledge about this new person. It is an important step in finding the right partner. I want you to take a similar heightened interest in what you eat. Every day you fill your body with ingredients that make a huge impact on your health, state of mind, emotional well-being, and size of your waist. Take a look inside your refrigerator and kitchen cupboards and ask these questions: How did this get made? How does it affect my body? Where did it come from? Start to be more curious about seeking knowledge of the most vital relationship you already have—your diet. We take for granted what we consume everyday and how it impacts our lives. We are missing the spiritual connection to food.

Imagine you are looking at a red pepper. How does it affect your body? How was it grown? Did the farmers use pesticides on the plants? Was it just picked, or has it been sitting in a grocery store for a few weeks after being shipped from a warehouse? What’s the difference? I chose the red pepper because my husband and I have just started growing our own vegetables, and we have green and red bell peppers. Prior to planting a garden, we were regularly shopping at the local farmer’s market. At the last minute while preparing brunch for guests, I had the direct experience of comparing the shelf life of farm fresh veggies over the grocery store bought version. The store bought celery started to turn brown after two days, while the farmer’s market celery lasted for over two weeks. This confirmed my choice to go directly to the farmers to get my produce as often as possible.

The red bell pepper has many nutrients you want to know about. Studies have shown that red bell peppers have significantly higher levels of nutrients than green. Red bell peppers contain lycopene, which helps to protect against cancer and heart disease. They are a good source of vitamin C, vitamin B6, beta carotene, and folic acid. Peppers contain a large amount of phytochemicals that act as antioxidants to protect against cataracts, blood clot formation, and reduce the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Sounds good, yes? Can you get more excited about eating a red bell pepper and all the wonderful things it can help your body do? If you find yourself more interested in the red pepper, this is good news. You are creating a love affair with food.

In my book, I cover a few more steps and ways in which we engage with food and how it can enhance different parts of our lives as well as our bodies.

I am doing a complimentary class on 3 of these stages at Whole Foods Market Redondo Beach.  Click here to get more info and learn how to register for these classes.

Just like your relationship to a person, food is no different.  Your relationship with food can always be improved and deepened for a more satisfying union!

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty even keel, even flat and dare I say boring!  I haven’t been having my emotional highs and lows to which I attribute a major reduction in the amount of sugar that I used to eat.  I am also not over eating and not emotionally eating as much as I used to. I’ve been taking much better care of myself in all areas. I’m making sure that I get daily exercise outside and am enjoying this new way of life.  So, since I’ve been feeling boring or settled I’ve been feeling that I don’t have much to say or write.  I’ve been more quiet within myself and been enjoying just “being.” Are you up on your “woo-woo” insurance cause you may need to be for this post! Oy!

I’ve almost come into a place of calm or peace with myself and trusting that everything is going to be ok and that everything that I am going through is for my highest good, learning and upliftment.  There is a peace that wasn’t present before.

Don’t get me wrong! I’ve had my moments!  I’ve had a couple of times when I have eaten because I was anxious, nervous or felt out of control but I have quickly bounced back into my healthy eating which is a huge change from going on a 2-week binge and falling back into, “My diet starts Monday” way of thinking.

Thank goodness for JJ’s support.  Being accountable to her and to myself has been a great help for me.  Consistency has also been the key. Remembering that, yes, I may have lapsed into “bad” eating but I think about how far I’ve come since the beginning of this journey and it gets me back on track.

Something has clicked for me. I don’t want to go back to the old way of eating in the past. I want to be healthy. I want to take care of myself. I want to make myself my #1 priority and I want to treat myself with love and respect and I want to have confidence in how I feel and how I look.

So, I continue with one day, one meal, and one challenge at a time.

Last night was the first night in a long time that I was out with friends and I felt beautiful.  Rather than sitting there and comparing myself to others all night and wishing that I was skinnier or more____ or less______, (fill in the blank…I could think of upteen things!) I was just happy to be exactly who I am and proud of the path that I’m on.  Dare I say, I was comfortable in my own skin (tears).

As for dating, over a week went by and I realized that I had not even checked my online account. I’ve been focusing on me and that has felt so good lately that it’s taken up most of my time and attention.

And I deserve every second of it.

Over the next year and a half, I proclaimed that I was NEVER (ha ha) giving up dairy because I loved my cheese and I was already gluten free.  That was in 2009.  In February of 2010, I decided I could give up dairy for 4 months to clean out my system and strengthen my digestive system.

Did you know that about 80% of your immunity comes from your digestive system?

Several nights a week I would experience congestion before bed so I knew it was something I was eating or drinking that was causing a problem.  After getting the results back of my Alcat test, I made a video to share all the products I picked up in order to substitute my favorite foods as an easy transition into a new diet.

After completing a few months of dairy free living, I added it back in.  It was no shock to have the congestion come back and I realized that maybe I need to remove it from my diet period.  When it comes to gluten, I rarely have it.  Maybe once every 6 weeks-but I plan for it.  I take some enzymes and usually have it while I am on my menstrual cycle because there are days I am more bloated anyway.

I still consume some dairy but I have cut down dramatically. Cheese was a part of my daily diet and would appear in often 2 meals a day.  Nowadays, I probably have cheese once a week.  The substitutions I made when I eliminated it for 4 months have stuck.  I use mostly coconut creamers, almond and coconut milk and buy hemp or coconut ice cream if I want some dairy-like dessert.   The products I have been using have become my favorite products and I honestly don’t miss the cheese.

My friends, before the wedding, would tell you that I was a cheese-a-holic.  And I clearly was not ready in 2009 to even consider it.  But as time went on, I realized that it is ONLY food and at the end of the day, my health and body are important to me.  I found some suitable substitutes and my palate has changed.  Thank god.

Growing a garden has been the best way to enter into a healthy marriage with my food- this reference is from the food chapter of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life.

Our garden is small and we don’t currently have enough planted to produce vegetables for lunch and dinner every day.  When we do, I get very excited about finding new ways to prepare what we are harvesting.  But right now we are in mid-season.  The eggplant is growing, the tomatoes are in process and the zucchini is starting to take off but none are ready to eat.

A few months ago, I was interviewed on film for a documentary about Raw Food.  The chapter in Fit 2 Love was a missing piece in the film about our relationship to what we consume and how to nurture a healthier relationship with food.

I consume raw products but I have always thought it was too hard and unrealistic to eat Raw 100% of the time.  But I have hit a point in my life where I love focusing on my food and I need a new goal!  Going raw for a week or two seems like the next step for me.

Here is the trailer for the movie, I am in frame 3:26. The Raw Natural Movie that is due out this summer!

http://www.therawnatural.com/

I have one or two people who are going to be doing this experiment with me.  If you’d like to join me, we start on Saturday July 30^th!

Mark your calendars because I will also be doing a 3 part class at the Whole Foods Redondo Beach in September to transform your relationship with food! Based on the Fit 2 Love principles, get your copy today and look for the emails about registering. The class is limited and it is FREE!

Results are in. After the first two weeks of JJ’s 6-Week Beach Body Cleanse I’ve lost 6 pounds! And that’s even “cheating” for two days of it! Doh!

Feeling much better today. Less tired. 

I was thinking about what I posted last night about how my moods have been much more level.  I attribute that to not eating as much (hardly any) sugar.  Even if I didn’t lose one pound but had the benefit of not feeling like I’m on an emotional roller coaster…THE CLEANSE WAS WORTH IT!!!!

My cravings have decreased immensely. I crave protein over sugar.  Still waiting for more energy to kick in but I think it’s that I still have over 100 pounds to lose and I work like a mad-dog. Long hours-LONG days!

Proud of myself.

So , tomorrow is the last day of my cleanse…thank God! It was easy in the beginning and then got harder toward the end because I grew very bored and hungry!

I do feel SO much better though, more emotionally stable, not so many ups and downs (as JJ likes to call my “drama”).   I feel lighter and I’m eager to see how much weight I have lost.  I wasn’t 100% good on the cleanse.  Mid-way through it brought up a lot of old stuff about dieting and restricting food.  This goes back to as early as around 11 years-old for me.  I remember being at a friend’s slumber party and we were given small cups of trail mix and there I was picking the M&M’s out of the trail mix because I was on a diet and couldn’t eat them.  Yuck. I hate that memory.  I was a kid! Eat the M&M’s at the slumber party for goodness sake!!!!

So, I had a couple of times where I ate, mostly over sadness, or out of boredom or out of rebellion or I was just plain hungry!

I will say, though, that these shakes that JJ has me on are FABULOUS! Even after the cleanse I’m going to continue to use them as my dinner because I get home so late in the evenings and they are so yummy and filling!

Things are generally good. I’ve starting my gym workouts again and I feel so much better already.  Exercising is the key for me to feel better all around.

On the dating front: NADA.  Mr. “almost was the dog killer” is nice but I’m not feeling the connection so I will continue to look.  I am focusing more on me becoming the person that I want to be in relationship with and that feels good.  It’s making me take more risks and be more active.

One day at a time. The weigh-in is tomorrow. Will check back then.

I think I have watched this video ten times already-or more.

I play it for every client I see who I think needs to hear it- which is most of them!

Why I love this video by Marianne Williamson is because she focuses on how we START our day. It’s about having intention, flow, a stable base coming from love, breath, and readiness VERSUS what most of us do (me included sometimes) which is REACT, REMEMBER, and REPEAT all the crap we did, thought and felt from the day before.  Especially when it’s negative.

It’s part of Law of Attraction as well.  I will give you a perfect example of how it can go very wrong.

Last week as I was getting ready for an early client, I noticed that one of our new towels was discolored.  I decided to get upset about it and write my husband a note- this was one of the FIRST  things I did to start my day on the way to the shower.

Since I started off focusing on something negative, the rest of the day went that way.  Traffic was awful and I was late for my first client.  On the way to my next appointment, I got off the wrong exit and turned the wrong way using up all of the spare time I had before my doctor appointment that I was going to use to get an oil change.  I had no more time because I used it up driving in the wrong direction!

Then at the doctor’s office, I had to wait. ( I HATE waiting when I was told I wouldn’t have to).  Anyway, you get the drift.  My day did turn around when I decided to get a $35, 75 min reflexology and massage around the corner from my last appointment of the day.  I had a coupon and I decided I needed some help with my energy shifting!

And it worked.

Most of my mornings, I start off by playing an appreciation game.  I intentionally verbally make a list with a partner what I appreciate and what I am excited about manifesting.  This is to create the positive energy and direct myself into that good feeling place. Or to redirect to a more general place if I happen to “not be feeling it” that day.

Most days, things flow well and I see clear evidence of my efforts in choosing to see the possibilities and stepping over the little things that could be bothersome- they aren’t worth my time.

This “bad” day is not the JJ typical day which is why I had to recall it and laugh.  I know better but now I am reminded how not being deliberate in my thoughts and focus can have me really frustrated!!

It’s all about HABITS.  What habits do you have and how do they support you or sabotage you?

What do you do first thing in the morning?

Do you turn on the TV to see what to worry about today?  Or do you read, meditate, exercise, journal, connect with your family, etc?

When Marianne talks about literally having more time when you meditate, it’s because you ground yourself into who you are FIRST, then you can choose how to process the information coming to you.

Without doing this, you allow your environment to dictate what and how you do and feel.  You become a victim and lose control.  It can be done very differently.

I invite you to change something about your morning routine and see how differently your day goes.  Or how you attract different, possibly better things.

Let me know how that goes.

This is one of the reasons I created the Fit 2 Love 2 Day Workshop so we can get to this root and start to dig it up. It is not serving you and you have the ability to change it.  We all do.

Thank god for researchers- I don’t have the patience to do it in the scientific way it needs to be done to “prove” a point. I have been doing my own research for 20 years on love, life, and health which is why my new brand, Fit 2 Love, has been born.

It’s not about the size of the dumbbell or the speed of your interval training!!

Are those things important?  Yes.  They are important AFTER you overcome the belief that you have about yourself that keeps you sabotaging your success and happiness.  I just watched a video that I want to share with you by Brene Brown.

Brene Brown, Ph.D.  is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. Brené spent the first five years of her decade-long study focusing on shame and empathy, and is now using that work to explore a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness.  For more info on her, click here.

I hope you enjoy it and I hope it touches your heart.  Consider joining me March 26^th and 27^th for the Fit 2 Love Workshop.  I believe in you.