Many people who want to lose weight put themselves on a diet. However, we know that more than 95% of all diets end in failure and that weight loss resistance has become a wide spread problem that qualifies as an epidemic. Weight Loss Resistance is the difficulty with losing weight. The reality is there are a number of factors that contribute to weight loss resistance in the body.

Join me in Scottsdale Arizona for this 3 Part Workshop Series:

Weight Loss Resistance and Metabolism

When: May 7th,  May 21st, and June 13th

Where: Dr. Lisa Galper’s Office Located at 8010 East Morgan Trail suite 12    Scottsdale, AZ 85258

Time: 6:00- 7:30 pm

Cost:      1 class = $45 2 classes= $75 3 classes = $100

To Register: Call 800 571 5722 or email  info@invisiblefitness.com

**SPACE IS LIMITED**

JJ Flizanes, Director of Invisible Fitness, was named best personal trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine and was also one of the six featured trainers in Shape Magazine in 2003.  She is the Author of the Amazon.com Best Seller Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core. She has appeared on NBC, KTLA, CBS and Fox 11 as well as numerous local and national magazines. JJ’s mission is to help women feel gorgeous and confident without starving or killing themselves in the gym.

Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually Fit

You’ll receive life-changing advice on health, food, fitness, and finding your sexual essence as well as getting the results you are looking for.

Does your self esteem suffer because of issues around your body image and weight?

Are you wanting a more passionate and fulfilling relationship?

Based on JJ’s new book, Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life, you’ll learn how, in just 6 weeks, you can erase your old body image from your mind and create a new “body blueprint” that will help you breakthrough old patterns to get you the results you are seeking. “If you do not love and cherish yourself, how can you expect others to?” says JJ, whose work and programs have been featured in national magazines and on FOX, CBS, KTLA, and NBC television appearances.

In her talks, Flizanes gets personal, revealing her own relationship woes and the steps she took to manifest lasting love as well as lasting results with her body. You’ll also receive life-changing advice on health, food, fitness, and finding your sexual essence, and you’ll hear stories of men and women who learned to love and care for themselves in ways that created the results they were looking for. You’ll leave this enlightening talk full of inspiration and energy to get your personal fitness program on track and transform yourself into someone who attracts love and romance.

WHEN:  Saturday April 28th, 2012

WHERE:  111 Eucalyptus Drive,  El Segundo CA 90245

TIME:  10am-11:30

COST: Free

To register: email info@invisiblefitness.com with name, phone number and email address

OR call 800 571 5722

* space is limited

““We all want to be loved. JJ provides help for everyone who wants to love
themselves, their bodies, and to attract more love from others.”
– DR. CHÉRIE CARTER-SCOTT
#1 New York Times Bestselling author
If Life is a Game, These are the Rules
If Love is a Game, These are the Rules

“Just when you think you’ve read everything about attracting THE relationship,BOOM, along comes JJ Flizanes with new information and a magnetizing format. Fit 2 Love is MORE than what you might’ve read before: it’s a treasure map; it’s a menu planner; it’s a true way-shower. Read it! You’ll love it!”
– MARY MANIN MORRISSEY, author,
Building Your Field of Dreams
No Less Than Greatness

“JJ Flizanes is passionate about the power of fitness and self care to transform your health and your love life. She is living proof that her formula works. If you are ready for a transformation, then, Fit 2 Love, is your prescription!” Allen Peters, M.D. of Nourishing Wellness Medical Center

“Whether you are looking for love or just want to have a better relationship with your body, JJ’s 5 steps in Fit 2 Love will definitely transform your body and your life. JJ’s passion and plea for the best life you can live is heartfelt on every page.” Jeanne Peters, RD of Nourishing Wellness Medical Center

WHEN:  Saturday April 28th, 2012

WHERE:  111 Eucalyptus Drive,  El Segundo CA 90245

TIME:  10am-11:30

COST: Free

To register: email: info@invisiblefitness.com with name, phone number and email address

OR call 800 571 5722

* space is limited

1. Family time does not have to mean sit and eat.  Quality time together can be spent doing other activities.  Try to clear the table while people are slowing down to take away temptations of over eating.
2. Traditional meals probably contain high calorie ingredients such as pasta, butter, oil, cheese and sugar.  Be creative and consult some low fat cooking sources on alternative ingredients that will cut several hundred calories per dish using items like egg whites, applesauce, fruit paste, lighter versions (not fat free) and etc.  No need to tell the family–they probably won’t notice!
3. Add some new dishes to the dinner table of salads, vegetable, fruits and broth-based soups.  These are generally healthier choices so you can fill up in these and eat less “empty calorie” stuff.
4. Schedule in your exercise in the mornings.  Ask a friend or family member to join, it will help with accountability.
5. Learn to say “No Thank You”.  You do not have to try every dish prepared or eat all that you take.
6. While in preparation, only sample the food that is necessary.  You could potentially eat 500-800 calories in sampling before you sit down to eat.
7. Eat ONLY until you are satisfied, NOT full.  If you sit at the dinner table for more then 2 hours, you are probably going to eat more then you need to because it’s there.
8. Keep a log of ALL of your exercise and food.  The average amount of calories for an adult between the ages of 30-55 who participates in moderate activity of 2-3 hours a week is 1800 (women)-2300 (men).  The average holiday meal including drinks can average around 2800-3200.  Logging keeps you aware of why the scale goes up and down.
9. Create a 15 min exercise routine that you can do every during the busy times. Add things like jumping jacks, jump rope, bridge, push ups, etc.  You want to have tools outside of the gym!
10. Holidays are stressful times and sometimes depressing for some.  Exercise boosts your body’s production of serotonin, the body’s “happy drug”.   Don’t let stress win!  If you need some support hire a trainer or a coach.  You’ll be glad you had the discipline and you will be ahead of the game for the New Year!

**this is an excerpt from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life**

“Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.” Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott

One of the tools that was pivotal in helping me manifest and manage all my relationships since 1998 was Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott’s book, If Love is a Game, These are the Rules. It was the first time I really understood the concept that how others treated me was a direct result of how I treated myself. When I could stand back and be objective about my behavior toward myself and what messages that sent out to others, I realized that the relationship I had to focus on most to get what I wanted was with myself. If I was not willing to treat myself like a queen, then how could I expect someone else to?

Your turn.

How do you treat yourself? When you wake up in the morning, what do you say to yourself? Do you compliment or criticize your body? Do you try on clothes, pinpointing all of the negative things you can, secretly wishing you could have someone else’s body?

If you do, you are not alone. This common practice of most women is the exact behavior that drives the fitness and weight loss industry—and I hate it. We focus on perfect bodies and how can I spot reduce this area so I will like myself, or so someone else will find me attractive and valuable? The underlying emotion here is fear. Many spiritual teachers of mine over the years have all agreed that our actions are motivated consciously or subconsciously by either love or fear.

Fear is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by present or imminent danger and a feeling of disquiet or apprehension. Fear can be a good tool when you think your life is in danger, but most people live in this emotion all day long with no such threat. Fear is uncomfortable to be in and around. Fear can also be defined as lack of trust.

Love is defined as a deep, tender feeling of affection and care toward a person, such as that arising from kinship or a sense of oneness, and a person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction. Love feels good, and we seek it all the time. We hold others as objects of our attention to give love to, and we want to receive love from others.

Which of these is activated more in your life when you deal with your body? Is it mostly love or fear?

How many times in your relationship life do you attract people who do the same thing or change the way they treat you as the relationship progresses? They start off complimentary and wonderful in the first two or three months, then the compliments stop coming because you either did not receive them or you argued about them.

You trained them how to treat you.

How often do you deflect a compliment? Someone tells you that you look pretty, and you say, “Oh no, I just rolled out of bed, and I am having a bad hair day.” This blocks a compliment.

Many women do it because they have a hard time receiving. You are not allowing yourself to receive the gift because your inner critic does not believe what the other person says. You want to feel attractive, then someone gives you a compliment, and you reject it. Can you see what message you are sending to that person? Why would anyone compliment you again?

Take out a sheet of paper and answer these questions to see what your body blueprint says about you based on every area of fitness and self-care, including exercise, diet, rest, play, and self-talk. We will then work on creating a new body blueprint that can yield more desirable responses.

1. List all the thoughts you can remember you had today, from the time you woke up to now, about how you look or any judgments on your character. For example, if you made a mistake, did you quickly internalize with a thought like “I am so stupid,” or did you think “Oh well, glad I learned that now?” List all of your thoughts in a single column.
2. Underneath the last thought, write a list all the actions you did today, from taking a shower to eating breakfast. Also include things you would have like to have done or should have done and didn’t. For example, you did not take your supplements today.

You should have one long vertical row that contains all the thoughts you were aware of today and all the actions you have accomplished so far. Now make another column to the right of the first one and answer these questions.

1. Next to the thoughts you had, write down if they were positive comments or negative. If you criticized yourself, that is negative. If you brushed your teeth, that is positive.
2. Next to the actions, write down a brief reason for doing that action and whether it came from love or fear. For example, if you wrote down ‘had a cup of coffee, went to work and skipped breakfast,’ do you think skipping breakfast was an act of love or disregard? You know the body needs fuel, so if the reason you skipped breakfast was because you were too busy, you put work before yourself, which sends the message that you are not as important as your work. Keep going through your list and be honest with yourself about the messages you are sending.

What Does Your Body Blueprint Say?

Answer the questions below and identify the message you are sending with each of your answers.

1. Exercise: How do you take care of your body? Do you exercise regularly? What kind of exercises do you do and why?
2. Diet: What foods do you consume on a regular basis? Are they high energy, clean foods that provide vitamins and nutrients for your body? Are they processed, chemically created foods that contain large amounts of fat and sugar with no nutritional value? Do you consume the amount of water your body needs to function optimally every day? Do you ingest toxins and drugs?
3. Rest: Do you sleep at least seven to eight hours a day? Do you unwind before going to bed? Do you take breaks during the day to relax and recharge your mind and body?
4. Play: Do you have fun on a weekly basis? Do you laugh often? Do you feel joy and do things you love every week?
5. Self-talk: How do you treat yourself with the words you use in your mind? If you talked to someone else the way you talk to yourself, how would they respond?

The thoughts you are aware of and your actions are part of your consciousness. You can change those behaviors starting now. But before we start to focus on the steps of changing your body blueprint to build the kind of relationships you want in your life, let’s acknowledge how some of these habits got there in the first place. Why is it this way? Where did these patterns of thought come from?

___________________________________________________________

To order the book or get your free copy of the 4 Week Fit 2 Love Plan, please visit www.fit2love.info

If you ‘d like to listen to a 60 minute call about Your Body Blueprint, you can download the MP3 for free by clicking here.

To listen to the call online, click here.

William Shakespeare, Henry V.

In our pursuit to “acquire” and create an abundant life, I all too often see more people neglect the foundation of life- health.

In fact, here is a picture that was floating around on Facebook that quotes the Dalai Lama:

In the effort to “attract” ALL that we want, while living in the moment, we can look at the principles of attracting greater abundance, as taught by Chellie Campbell author of The Wealthy Spirit. These same principles can easily be applied to our lives to improve the state of health, fitness and vitality.

When someone feels good, they have more energy.  People with better energy attract more positive energy into their life. Regardless what level your financial goals are, they are most likely higher or a step or two above where you are now, yes?  Wouldn’t it make sense then that you have to be able to handle the next level physically, emotionally, and spiritually?  Without growing yourself as a person to a higher level, how can we expect to receive at a higher level?

In exercise, it’s called adaptation.  Our bodies respond to the stimulus we provide and we adapt to be able to handle it more easily.  If you want to get stronger, (or faster, leaner, etc) you must add more resistance or intensity to create a new level for your body to adapt to.

Let’s look at Chellie’s 6 Keys from The Wealthy Spirit:

1. Think Positive
2. Send Out Ships
3. Count Your Money
4. Swim with Dolphins
5. Survive the Storms
6. Seek Balance and Enlightenment

Now let’s look at how we can apply these principles to our bodies at the same time for more results, greater energy and vitality.

1. Think Positive- on my 6 Week Beach Body Program, our first class is about Thinking Thin. If you think you are unhealthy, over weight, and sick, you keep attracting more of those things and your behavior does not change.  “Thin and healthy” people actually view things differently. They can go to a restaurant and order a salad and really enjoy and feel satisfied. Thinking thin means you reach for water over diet soda because you want to replenish and nourish your cells so they can do their job.  There is a different mindset to being “naturally” healthy and fit and practicing this way of thinking will affect your behavior and therefore your results.  Click here to learn more about the 6 Week Beach Body Program.

1. Send Out Ships: In marketing, this is taking action steps so that the more ships you send out, the more likely some will return with riches and spices for you. Send out ships for your body by using some of your 300+ muscles and 200+ bones everyday. You were born to move, not sit.  Wake up your body everyday by doing something that is physical- even if it’s only 10-15 minutes.  Walk the dog, clean the house, garden, take a class, dance around, climb the stairs a few times, etc.  If you don’t move your body, it will not respond the way you’d like it to later. (or maybe even now!)

1. Count Your Money: Count (or at least pay attention) to your calories! Calorie counting is not the only (or even best) way to pay attention to your food but it is one that gets results and creates awareness.  You wouldn’t stand at the gas station and try to put more gas in your car then it needed, would you?  It would flow out of the tank to let you know that it’s full and can not handle any more.  Well your body “overflows” a little differently but it can still tell you when you have consumed over what you need to function.  Knowing your body fat percentage and calculating how many calories you need to be healthy everyday gives you a BUDGET. Your body budget is really no different than your financial budget.

1. Swim with Dolphins: If you hang out with healthy, happy people, this will rub off on you. If you hang out with people who overeat, over drink and never exercise, THIS will also rub off on you. Your energy will adapt to the dominant energy around you.  Pick and choose who you spend your time with wisely. I have heard it said that you are the composite of the 5 people you hang out with most on every level: health, wealth and relationships.

1. Survive the Storms: Follow the 80/20 rule.  Health is a habit, not an event.  What you practice most of the time will become your new normal. Life happens and can change your plan, but learning how to adapt and keep going is the key to success in every area of life.

1. Seek Balance and Enlightenment: We are human BE-ings, not human DO-ings. Take time every week (if not everyday) to STOP and BE.  Meditate, play, and rest.  The more centered, clear, and positive you are, the more easily you can achieve any goal.

For some free tools to help you get started on a physical, emotional and spiritual journey, please visit www.fit2love.info and www.invisiblefitness.com

JJ Flizanes is the author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core.  She was named best personal trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine and is the Director of Invisible Fitness. JJ’s passion is helping men and women get results with their body and love on the outside as well as the inside. View JJ on video on YouTube or visit her blog at http://www.jjflizanes.com.

**this is an except from my book Fit 2 Love-click here to order a copy today and get the entire book in hard copy or Kindle**

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

You’re tired all the time, you want to lose a few pounds quickly, and are ready for change. Enough is enough. Your body blueprint is not sending the messages you want it to, and you are ready to start over. Time to clean the slate!

We will be attending to four areas of your life to create a fresh start: your body, physical environment, emotional baggage, and current relationships.

Your Physical Body

When dealing with only the body, the first thing I recommend is a detoxification. At a physical level, proper detoxification strengthens our body’s tissues and enhances the function of its systems. This can result in fast weight loss, better sleep, improved mood and focus, as well as a decrease in appetite. Detoxification is a process of removing chemicals and toxic substances from your diet, while entering into a cleansing period by eating foods that help the body eliminate built-up toxins. Not only will you be cleansing your body, you will also have the opportunity to create a new relationship with food.

Hunger is of the mind, while appetite is of the body. During a detox, you have the opportunity to become aware of the difference between hunger and appetite. Keeping a journal throughout a detox can help you become mindful at a conscious and subconscious level of how, when, what, and why you eat. With mindfulness, you get to take back control over your relationship with food.

All cleanses are not created equal, and some are not safe. While you may lose weight quickly, some encourage long durations without eating, which stresses the body, causing adrenal fatigue. Adrenal fatigue is a condition that prevents your body from recovery because your fight or flight response has been triggered too often for too long. Having adrenal fatigue causes weight loss resistance, which means you will have a hard time losing weight in the long run. To find out more about adrenal fatigue or to test to see if you may be affected by it, consult your local doctor that specializes in anti-aging medicine and bio-identical hormone replacement therapy.

At least three new chemicals are introduced into the planet each day, so I recommend doing a cleanse at least twice a year. In fact, we enter the world with over 200 chemicals in our body when we are born. The Environmental Working Group found that samples of blood taken from the umbilical cord of newborns contain an average of 200 chemicals that can cause cancer, brain damage, birth defects, and other serious illnesses. Our bodies have a natural detoxification system, but it is still necessary to assist our liver, colon, kidneys, and tissues at least twice a year so that our digestive system can work more effectively to eradicate these toxins from our bodies. I would recommend trying a detox on your own with the guidelines below or contacting me at our 6 Week Beach Body Program to find out when we host the next virtual detox group.

What to Avoid During a Detox

1. Dairy: Dairy is one of the top allergies that we have, and a lot of us don’t even know that we’re sensitive or allergic to dairy. Dairy also causes inflammation.
2. Caffeine: Green tea is acceptable because there’s half the amount of caffeine in green tea that there is in coffee.
3. Alcohol: Alcohol is toxic to the liver and is also a diuretic, like caffeine. It takes water out of your system. Having less water is going to make it harder for your body to perform all of its functions because your body does everything in water. It loses weight in water. It fights disease in water.
4. Gluten: Wheat is the second biggest allergy foods out of the top five. Gluten is anything made from wheat, barley, and rye. You can find it in many foods as an additive or preservative, so be sure to read labels. You can also find a list of foods containing gluten, as well as gluten-free grains in the 30 Day JUMP Start program that you can download for free at invisiblefitness.com.
5. Fast food: Stay away from fast food, even if it’s the vegetables in the fast food places. If it comes from the garden and onto your plate, that’s great. If it has to sit anywhere and goes through any kind of processes and be around other chemicals, we want to stay away from it.
6. Fried foods and packaged foods: They have fillers and artificial preservatives that are going to make them last longer.
7. Meat: Meat can be hard on the body to digest, and we want to give your digestive system a break.
8. Salt: That doesn’t mean stay away from things that have salt in them naturally, like celery. Celery can actually help lower blood pressure. Just don’t add salt to your food.
9. Sugar: Sugar is another very high inflammatory agent. It’s like cocaine for your body—addictive and not good for you.

10.  Artificial sweeteners, diet drinks, and diet food: These are toxic and made with chemicals.

What to Eat During a Detox

1. Protein: Your protein choices are going to be fish, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, or a protein powder made from peas, hemp, rice, or egg whites.
2. Vegetables: Have at least 3 cups, everyday, of different colored vegetables.
3. Fruit: Enjoy at least 3 servings of fruit a day.
4. Grain: Brown rice, white rice, quinoa, millet, amaranth, and oat.
5. Nuts: Almonds, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, chestnuts, cashews, and peanuts.
6. Drinks: Water, green tea, herbal teas that are non-caffeinated, fresh-squeezed veggie or fruit juice, and mineral water.
7. Oils and dressings: Vinegar, olive, grape seed, coconut, and walnut oils. Apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and a touch of mustard make a tasty homemade dressing.
8. Snacks: Hummus, olives, celery, carrots, dried apricots, and prunes. For example, celery with hummus or almond butter. You can mix and match anything above for a snack, as well from the protein, fruit, or veggie categories.
9. Supplements: Fiber, make sure to get at least 35-40 grams a day through your food or a supplement, Krill oil or Omega 3, and a probiotic.

Additional tips to help you with a detox would be to buy organic fruits and veggies locally, if possible. Make sure to sweat every day for at least ten minutes, sleep at least seven to eight hours every night, and practice stress management daily through journaling and meditation.

**For the more free info on Fit 2 Love or to buy the book, please visit www.fit2love.info**

** there are also many ways/methods to do a detox- this is the one we use the most but we always recommend researching the safety and effectiveness of a cleanse you choose.**

**there will be a blog post added eventually to this in the future so please watch the video for now and comment below with any thoughts or questions.**

You want to lose weight.  So you clean up your diet and you start to exercise.  This sounds like a good plan.

But let me ask you- how did you get to where you are now?  Are you an emotional eater?  Are you someone who does not exercise regularly and lack motivation?

Many people start on a weight loss journey focused on temporary change.  “If I go on a diet, I can lose the weight”.  You have all heard this before.

But let’s look at from an attraction point of view.

If you focus on weight loss, you set up a resistance to food, exercise and a lifestyle change.  Because you are only focused on a number and not the behavior, the thoughts, or the feelings associated with the weight you gained.

As you clean up your diet and exercise more, you may lose the weight you want.  But because you never addressed the beliefs or feelings around how you live, eat and exercise, 9 times out of 10 you gain the weight back.

Problem #1: Temporary change.  You want fast weight loss, you change lots of things.  Then you feel deprived because it was too much change too soon, you consider it a diet and then you rebel and “celebrate” once you have reached your goal-which usually starts the habits and patterns that have you gain the weight right back.

Solution: Clean up your life, not just your diet.  Start to “think thin” like we do on our 6 Week Beach Body Program.  Download the 4 week plan of Fit 2 Love and REALLY do the exercises especially around the food.  Make one change every month so you make it part of your daily or weekly routine.  Post a comment on this blog so I can give you more specific action steps to implement into your life.  I AM a problem solver so let me help you!

Problem #2: Delaying your happiness.  “I’ll only be happy when I lose 10 pounds”.  This statement goes against your inner being and your higher self so your body and spirit say “ then you will never be happy “  and your body says “ if you can’t love me the way I am, then I am NOT changing for you!”  Your “then” never comes.  There is always something else.  You set yourself up to fail IMMEDIATELY and delay your happiness and results in the process.  Accepting yourself where you are, as you are, right now is the ONLY way to make a real shift.  Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time until you and your body go back to the exact state it was in before or worse.

Solution: Find appreciation with your body and health right now. When you do that, you release resistance and your body will shift ad change.  Your body will appreciate the love and positive attention and respond JUST like a person.  You can download the free Fit 2 Love 4 Week Plan and start changing your relationship with your body and practice being happy NOW.  Let’s face it, one of the only reasons you want to lose weight in the first place is because you THINK you will be happy once you get it.  So pretend you have it now and stop delaying the HAPPY PART!  It gets you no where to hold your ground of unhappiness.  You practice that and that’s what you are good at.  So when you get to “happy”, you might not stay there long because you are too good at “unhappy”.

**What you lose, you can find. Don’t concentrate on loss but on transformation and releasing.**

JJ Flizanes is the author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core.  She was named best personal trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine and is the Director of Invisible Fitness. JJ’s passion is helping men and women get results with their body and love on the outside as well as the inside. View JJ on video on YouTube or visit her blog at http://www.jjflizanes.com.

I want to start off by letting you know that this video is my personal example of self talk.  I will add more to this blog in the future but I would love to ask YOU, how do you handle self talk?

Give me an example of something you did well OR ask for some help with a situation you are dealing with.

Comment below and let’s have a conversation about this very important topic!

The following is an excerpt from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life. (available on Amazon- click the link)

“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” Sophia Loren

In 2004, I attended a self-growth camp where we were challenged to our limits physically, mentally, and emotionally every day. On the third day, I was chosen out of the crowd in my camp to have a public reading by the instructor. I watched him read a few others before me and thought, How the hell can he say those kinds of things about them? He doesn’t even know anything about them!

The comments were very direct and often evoked tears from the other women. He was not being mean or disrespectful; the statements were just brutally honest and often not easy to hear. When it was my turn, I put on my best poker face and prepared myself. He only asked me one question.

“Are you single?”

“Yes. Well, I just got out a relationship, but I am not sure that it is really over,” I replied.

He knew nothing else about me, yet he proceeded to describe me very accurately.

“You are using your mind too much. You use your intellect and try to compete with the men, instead of using your feminine gifts to lure them. Embrace your feminine energy, and it will help to you flow more easily through all parts of your life. Stop pushing.”

I was blown away.

My friend Michelle’s mouth dropped to the floor because of how precise his statements were about who I was and what I needed to do. The instructor appointed Michelle my accountability partner for my homework, which was to buy sexy pink lingerie and dance around in it every day before I started the day—everyday.

Did I do it? Yes. I performed this ritual for about a week until I decided it was too forced for me to do it every day by myself. To make this work, I needed to find a way to make it something I enjoyed doing. The point of the exercise was to adorn myself and activate the feminine energy within me through music and dance. Being a salsa dancer, I already had it built into my life, so I applied the principle to my evenings out to dance. The hot salsa club to go to on Saturday nights had a dress code, so I used this as my excuse to break out the sexy dresses, the shiny jewelry, and add some glitter to my evening makeup. I had no other place in my life where dressing like this was acceptable and celebrated.

I understood the message but decided to translate it into my life in a way that supported my regular practice. The bottom line for most of us is to activate our feminine energy and stop pushing so much. When I met my husband, I was consistently dancing three to four times a week and having a blast. My feminine energy was very alive in me, which helped me evoke his masculine energy and attention.

Dancing around my house in my sexy underwear wasn’t a problem; it just was not as fun as dancing at the clubs. I wanted to find a practice I would do often without resistance. For some women, wearing sexy underwear is all it takes to easily add this energy into their daily life…………

In Fit 2 Love, I explain several methods you can use to spice up your energy – dancing around in my underwear never did stick as a regular practice but I did find several others that I still use today!

Feel free to share your story of how you successfully adorn yourself here on the blog!  In the book, I offer 5 or 6 choices but we can always add more to the list by hearing about what worked for others out there.

And men, all of these practices can be “masculine modified” to bring out the same sexual, sensual, powerful energy in you too!