**this is an excerpt from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life**

“Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.” Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott

One of the tools that was pivotal in helping me manifest and manage all my relationships since 1998 was Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott’s book, If Love is a Game, These are the Rules. It was the first time I really understood the concept that how others treated me was a direct result of how I treated myself. When I could stand back and be objective about my behavior toward myself and what messages that sent out to others, I realized that the relationship I had to focus on most to get what I wanted was with myself. If I was not willing to treat myself like a queen, then how could I expect someone else to?

Your turn.

How do you treat yourself? When you wake up in the morning, what do you say to yourself? Do you compliment or criticize your body? Do you try on clothes, pinpointing all of the negative things you can, secretly wishing you could have someone else’s body?

If you do, you are not alone. This common practice of most women is the exact behavior that drives the fitness and weight loss industry—and I hate it. We focus on perfect bodies and how can I spot reduce this area so I will like myself, or so someone else will find me attractive and valuable? The underlying emotion here is fear. Many spiritual teachers of mine over the years have all agreed that our actions are motivated consciously or subconsciously by either love or fear.

Fear is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by present or imminent danger and a feeling of disquiet or apprehension. Fear can be a good tool when you think your life is in danger, but most people live in this emotion all day long with no such threat. Fear is uncomfortable to be in and around. Fear can also be defined as lack of trust.

Love is defined as a deep, tender feeling of affection and care toward a person, such as that arising from kinship or a sense of oneness, and a person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction. Love feels good, and we seek it all the time. We hold others as objects of our attention to give love to, and we want to receive love from others.

Which of these is activated more in your life when you deal with your body? Is it mostly love or fear?

How many times in your relationship life do you attract people who do the same thing or change the way they treat you as the relationship progresses? They start off complimentary and wonderful in the first two or three months, then the compliments stop coming because you either did not receive them or you argued about them.

You trained them how to treat you.

How often do you deflect a compliment? Someone tells you that you look pretty, and you say, “Oh no, I just rolled out of bed, and I am having a bad hair day.” This blocks a compliment.

Many women do it because they have a hard time receiving. You are not allowing yourself to receive the gift because your inner critic does not believe what the other person says. You want to feel attractive, then someone gives you a compliment, and you reject it. Can you see what message you are sending to that person? Why would anyone compliment you again?

Take out a sheet of paper and answer these questions to see what your body blueprint says about you based on every area of fitness and self-care, including exercise, diet, rest, play, and self-talk. We will then work on creating a new body blueprint that can yield more desirable responses.

1. List all the thoughts you can remember you had today, from the time you woke up to now, about how you look or any judgments on your character. For example, if you made a mistake, did you quickly internalize with a thought like “I am so stupid,” or did you think “Oh well, glad I learned that now?” List all of your thoughts in a single column.
2. Underneath the last thought, write a list all the actions you did today, from taking a shower to eating breakfast. Also include things you would have like to have done or should have done and didn’t. For example, you did not take your supplements today.

You should have one long vertical row that contains all the thoughts you were aware of today and all the actions you have accomplished so far. Now make another column to the right of the first one and answer these questions.

1. Next to the thoughts you had, write down if they were positive comments or negative. If you criticized yourself, that is negative. If you brushed your teeth, that is positive.
2. Next to the actions, write down a brief reason for doing that action and whether it came from love or fear. For example, if you wrote down ‘had a cup of coffee, went to work and skipped breakfast,’ do you think skipping breakfast was an act of love or disregard? You know the body needs fuel, so if the reason you skipped breakfast was because you were too busy, you put work before yourself, which sends the message that you are not as important as your work. Keep going through your list and be honest with yourself about the messages you are sending.

What Does Your Body Blueprint Say?

Answer the questions below and identify the message you are sending with each of your answers.

1. Exercise: How do you take care of your body? Do you exercise regularly? What kind of exercises do you do and why?
2. Diet: What foods do you consume on a regular basis? Are they high energy, clean foods that provide vitamins and nutrients for your body? Are they processed, chemically created foods that contain large amounts of fat and sugar with no nutritional value? Do you consume the amount of water your body needs to function optimally every day? Do you ingest toxins and drugs?
3. Rest: Do you sleep at least seven to eight hours a day? Do you unwind before going to bed? Do you take breaks during the day to relax and recharge your mind and body?
4. Play: Do you have fun on a weekly basis? Do you laugh often? Do you feel joy and do things you love every week?
5. Self-talk: How do you treat yourself with the words you use in your mind? If you talked to someone else the way you talk to yourself, how would they respond?

The thoughts you are aware of and your actions are part of your consciousness. You can change those behaviors starting now. But before we start to focus on the steps of changing your body blueprint to build the kind of relationships you want in your life, let’s acknowledge how some of these habits got there in the first place. Why is it this way? Where did these patterns of thought come from?

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To order the book or get your free copy of the 4 Week Fit 2 Love Plan, please visit www.fit2love.info

If you ‘d like to listen to a 60 minute call about Your Body Blueprint, you can download the MP3 for free by clicking here.

To listen to the call online, click here.

**this is an except from my book Fit 2 Love-click here to order a copy today and get the entire book in hard copy or Kindle**

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

You’re tired all the time, you want to lose a few pounds quickly, and are ready for change. Enough is enough. Your body blueprint is not sending the messages you want it to, and you are ready to start over. Time to clean the slate!

We will be attending to four areas of your life to create a fresh start: your body, physical environment, emotional baggage, and current relationships.

Your Physical Body

When dealing with only the body, the first thing I recommend is a detoxification. At a physical level, proper detoxification strengthens our body’s tissues and enhances the function of its systems. This can result in fast weight loss, better sleep, improved mood and focus, as well as a decrease in appetite. Detoxification is a process of removing chemicals and toxic substances from your diet, while entering into a cleansing period by eating foods that help the body eliminate built-up toxins. Not only will you be cleansing your body, you will also have the opportunity to create a new relationship with food.

Hunger is of the mind, while appetite is of the body. During a detox, you have the opportunity to become aware of the difference between hunger and appetite. Keeping a journal throughout a detox can help you become mindful at a conscious and subconscious level of how, when, what, and why you eat. With mindfulness, you get to take back control over your relationship with food.

All cleanses are not created equal, and some are not safe. While you may lose weight quickly, some encourage long durations without eating, which stresses the body, causing adrenal fatigue. Adrenal fatigue is a condition that prevents your body from recovery because your fight or flight response has been triggered too often for too long. Having adrenal fatigue causes weight loss resistance, which means you will have a hard time losing weight in the long run. To find out more about adrenal fatigue or to test to see if you may be affected by it, consult your local doctor that specializes in anti-aging medicine and bio-identical hormone replacement therapy.

At least three new chemicals are introduced into the planet each day, so I recommend doing a cleanse at least twice a year. In fact, we enter the world with over 200 chemicals in our body when we are born. The Environmental Working Group found that samples of blood taken from the umbilical cord of newborns contain an average of 200 chemicals that can cause cancer, brain damage, birth defects, and other serious illnesses. Our bodies have a natural detoxification system, but it is still necessary to assist our liver, colon, kidneys, and tissues at least twice a year so that our digestive system can work more effectively to eradicate these toxins from our bodies. I would recommend trying a detox on your own with the guidelines below or contacting me at our 6 Week Beach Body Program to find out when we host the next virtual detox group.

What to Avoid During a Detox

1. Dairy: Dairy is one of the top allergies that we have, and a lot of us don’t even know that we’re sensitive or allergic to dairy. Dairy also causes inflammation.
2. Caffeine: Green tea is acceptable because there’s half the amount of caffeine in green tea that there is in coffee.
3. Alcohol: Alcohol is toxic to the liver and is also a diuretic, like caffeine. It takes water out of your system. Having less water is going to make it harder for your body to perform all of its functions because your body does everything in water. It loses weight in water. It fights disease in water.
4. Gluten: Wheat is the second biggest allergy foods out of the top five. Gluten is anything made from wheat, barley, and rye. You can find it in many foods as an additive or preservative, so be sure to read labels. You can also find a list of foods containing gluten, as well as gluten-free grains in the 30 Day JUMP Start program that you can download for free at invisiblefitness.com.
5. Fast food: Stay away from fast food, even if it’s the vegetables in the fast food places. If it comes from the garden and onto your plate, that’s great. If it has to sit anywhere and goes through any kind of processes and be around other chemicals, we want to stay away from it.
6. Fried foods and packaged foods: They have fillers and artificial preservatives that are going to make them last longer.
7. Meat: Meat can be hard on the body to digest, and we want to give your digestive system a break.
8. Salt: That doesn’t mean stay away from things that have salt in them naturally, like celery. Celery can actually help lower blood pressure. Just don’t add salt to your food.
9. Sugar: Sugar is another very high inflammatory agent. It’s like cocaine for your body—addictive and not good for you.

10.  Artificial sweeteners, diet drinks, and diet food: These are toxic and made with chemicals.

What to Eat During a Detox

1. Protein: Your protein choices are going to be fish, eggs, tofu, tempeh, edamame, or a protein powder made from peas, hemp, rice, or egg whites.
2. Vegetables: Have at least 3 cups, everyday, of different colored vegetables.
3. Fruit: Enjoy at least 3 servings of fruit a day.
4. Grain: Brown rice, white rice, quinoa, millet, amaranth, and oat.
5. Nuts: Almonds, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, chestnuts, cashews, and peanuts.
6. Drinks: Water, green tea, herbal teas that are non-caffeinated, fresh-squeezed veggie or fruit juice, and mineral water.
7. Oils and dressings: Vinegar, olive, grape seed, coconut, and walnut oils. Apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and a touch of mustard make a tasty homemade dressing.
8. Snacks: Hummus, olives, celery, carrots, dried apricots, and prunes. For example, celery with hummus or almond butter. You can mix and match anything above for a snack, as well from the protein, fruit, or veggie categories.
9. Supplements: Fiber, make sure to get at least 35-40 grams a day through your food or a supplement, Krill oil or Omega 3, and a probiotic.

Additional tips to help you with a detox would be to buy organic fruits and veggies locally, if possible. Make sure to sweat every day for at least ten minutes, sleep at least seven to eight hours every night, and practice stress management daily through journaling and meditation.

**For the more free info on Fit 2 Love or to buy the book, please visit www.fit2love.info**

** there are also many ways/methods to do a detox- this is the one we use the most but we always recommend researching the safety and effectiveness of a cleanse you choose.**

**there will be a blog post added eventually to this in the future so please watch the video for now and comment below with any thoughts or questions.**

I want to start off by letting you know that this video is my personal example of self talk.  I will add more to this blog in the future but I would love to ask YOU, how do you handle self talk?

Give me an example of something you did well OR ask for some help with a situation you are dealing with.

Comment below and let’s have a conversation about this very important topic!

The following is an excerpt from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life. (available on Amazon- click the link)

“Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.” Sophia Loren

In 2004, I attended a self-growth camp where we were challenged to our limits physically, mentally, and emotionally every day. On the third day, I was chosen out of the crowd in my camp to have a public reading by the instructor. I watched him read a few others before me and thought, How the hell can he say those kinds of things about them? He doesn’t even know anything about them!

The comments were very direct and often evoked tears from the other women. He was not being mean or disrespectful; the statements were just brutally honest and often not easy to hear. When it was my turn, I put on my best poker face and prepared myself. He only asked me one question.

“Are you single?”

“Yes. Well, I just got out a relationship, but I am not sure that it is really over,” I replied.

He knew nothing else about me, yet he proceeded to describe me very accurately.

“You are using your mind too much. You use your intellect and try to compete with the men, instead of using your feminine gifts to lure them. Embrace your feminine energy, and it will help to you flow more easily through all parts of your life. Stop pushing.”

I was blown away.

My friend Michelle’s mouth dropped to the floor because of how precise his statements were about who I was and what I needed to do. The instructor appointed Michelle my accountability partner for my homework, which was to buy sexy pink lingerie and dance around in it every day before I started the day—everyday.

Did I do it? Yes. I performed this ritual for about a week until I decided it was too forced for me to do it every day by myself. To make this work, I needed to find a way to make it something I enjoyed doing. The point of the exercise was to adorn myself and activate the feminine energy within me through music and dance. Being a salsa dancer, I already had it built into my life, so I applied the principle to my evenings out to dance. The hot salsa club to go to on Saturday nights had a dress code, so I used this as my excuse to break out the sexy dresses, the shiny jewelry, and add some glitter to my evening makeup. I had no other place in my life where dressing like this was acceptable and celebrated.

I understood the message but decided to translate it into my life in a way that supported my regular practice. The bottom line for most of us is to activate our feminine energy and stop pushing so much. When I met my husband, I was consistently dancing three to four times a week and having a blast. My feminine energy was very alive in me, which helped me evoke his masculine energy and attention.

Dancing around my house in my sexy underwear wasn’t a problem; it just was not as fun as dancing at the clubs. I wanted to find a practice I would do often without resistance. For some women, wearing sexy underwear is all it takes to easily add this energy into their daily life…………

In Fit 2 Love, I explain several methods you can use to spice up your energy – dancing around in my underwear never did stick as a regular practice but I did find several others that I still use today!

Feel free to share your story of how you successfully adorn yourself here on the blog!  In the book, I offer 5 or 6 choices but we can always add more to the list by hearing about what worked for others out there.

And men, all of these practices can be “masculine modified” to bring out the same sexual, sensual, powerful energy in you too!

**This is an excerp from my book Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life.

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” Thornton Wilder

Please understand that you are perfect just the way you are right now. The journey you are on is unique and special. There is nothing wrong or broken about you. Your mind and body are working perfectly even when they are doing things you don’t like.

You get constant feedback from your body and emotions about where you are in the moment so you can decide where you want to go next. This is a spiritual journey, as much as a physical and emotional journey, of changing your body and manifesting love from within, as well as from another.

While there are many factors in life that are out of your control, you do have the ability to manage your thoughts and how you react to every situation. How you perceive your experiences will color the kinds of emotions attached to them. Choosing a more positive and hopeful outlook will produce better feelings. There are always two points of view to choose from in every situation: what is working and what is not.

Focus on what is working to practice gratitude every single day. This will not only help you manifest more of what you want, it will also make you happy immediately. When you can control your thoughts and feelings, you influence your happiness. If you find this difficult to do or sustain on your own, talking to someone like a psychologist, counselor, or life coach can help you shift your thoughts and change your feelings. Start by thanking your lucky stars.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is appreciation for people, places, and things, as well as,
for ideas, qualities, and feelings
Gratitude is thankfulness, and I use it like a key
a key to inspire strangers, my friends, and me
a key to life that sets me free
a key to heal insult and injury
a key to awareness, when I refuse to dream
a key to finding forgiveness and feeling peace
a key to manifest my desires, what I want, and who I choose to be
a key to light the dark times, when I can’t see
a key to expressing my preferences, what I love, the real me
a key to feeling the present moment, gently
a key to reconnect me to humility
a key to boundless opportunity, when I get caught in my limited certainty
a key to transcendence, imagination, and epiphany
a key to turn the hardest moment into a glorious journey
a key to the only foolproof system of love in the galaxy
a key to access infinite possibilities
and when I share my gratitude, gratitude enriches you and me
Gratitude is actually the doorway, choice is the real key
The best part about gratitude is that gratitude is always… absolutely… free!

“Gratitude is” by Macarena Luz Bianchi

I filmed the video above on a day I wasn’t feeling so good.  It has been a crazy and slightly emotional week and through it all, I can still focus on what is going well in my life and practice what I preach!

I invite you to watch the video and start to implement DAILY practices into your life that focus you on what IS working instead of what is missing or going not the way you want it.

We all have bad days but HOW you deal with it determines how you create your life.

This is an excerpt from my book, Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”                                  Virginia Woolf

We have lost touch with our relationship to food. With at least three opportunities every day to practice receiving the transfer of energy from our meals to our cells, eating has become a source of confusion and conflict, rather than a delightful pleasure. The lack of respect and abuse of food is one of the reasons why our health, as a culture, is rapidly declining. For some of us, the concept of doing anything except ordering in or going out seems like too much work. Our lives are too busy to slow down and prepare a home-cooked meal. Having a food love affair means having a deep, meaningful, respectful, and loving relationship to the food we put in our bodies.

In cultures throughout history, hunting, gathering, raising, and preparing foods was an honored and respected daily ritual. People were in tune with the abundance of each season and the different foods the earth provided throughout the year. Modern living has taken away the need of our attention to this. If you are looking for love, practice these principles with your food first. You have to create a love affair with food to attract the respect of your body and have success with health and weight management. To heal the obsession of dieting and calorie counting, you are going to treat food as your new lover, with whom you see the potential for a committed relationship. Rather than making food the enemy, you want to fall in love with food.

The Courtship

When you meet a man who interests you, the curiosity can be overwhelming. You want to know so many things: Who he is? Where he is from? What does he do for a living? How was he raised? Passion and excitement surround the quest for knowledge about this new person. It is an important step in finding the right partner. I want you to take a similar heightened interest in what you eat. Every day you fill your body with ingredients that make a huge impact on your health, state of mind, emotional well-being, and size of your waist. Take a look inside your refrigerator and kitchen cupboards and ask these questions: How did this get made? How does it affect my body? Where did it come from? Start to be more curious about seeking knowledge of the most vital relationship you already have—your diet. We take for granted what we consume everyday and how it impacts our lives. We are missing the spiritual connection to food.

Imagine you are looking at a red pepper. How does it affect your body? How was it grown? Did the farmers use pesticides on the plants? Was it just picked, or has it been sitting in a grocery store for a few weeks after being shipped from a warehouse? What’s the difference? I chose the red pepper because my husband and I have just started growing our own vegetables, and we have green and red bell peppers. Prior to planting a garden, we were regularly shopping at the local farmer’s market. At the last minute while preparing brunch for guests, I had the direct experience of comparing the shelf life of farm fresh veggies over the grocery store bought version. The store bought celery started to turn brown after two days, while the farmer’s market celery lasted for over two weeks. This confirmed my choice to go directly to the farmers to get my produce as often as possible.

The red bell pepper has many nutrients you want to know about. Studies have shown that red bell peppers have significantly higher levels of nutrients than green. Red bell peppers contain lycopene, which helps to protect against cancer and heart disease. They are a good source of vitamin C, vitamin B6, beta carotene, and folic acid. Peppers contain a large amount of phytochemicals that act as antioxidants to protect against cataracts, blood clot formation, and reduce the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Sounds good, yes? Can you get more excited about eating a red bell pepper and all the wonderful things it can help your body do? If you find yourself more interested in the red pepper, this is good news. You are creating a love affair with food.

In my book, I cover a few more steps and ways in which we engage with food and how it can enhance different parts of our lives as well as our bodies.

I am doing a complimentary class on 3 of these stages at Whole Foods Market Redondo Beach.  Click here to get more info and learn how to register for these classes.

Just like your relationship to a person, food is no different.  Your relationship with food can always be improved and deepened for a more satisfying union!

Let me  show you how to Create a Food Love Affair-The allure of Energy and Superfoods in a 3 part series:

#1 – The Courtship

You want to know so many things. What is it?
Where is it grown? When does it grow? How do I prepare it?

Juicing (green apple, lemon, cucumber, spinach, celery)
Unique Seasonal Fruits
Majool Date

Wednesday, September 7th from 6:30-7:30 pm

Space is limited. Please rsvp sprdb.marketing@wholefoods.com to reserve your seat.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

#2 – The Engagement

You’ve decided to commit, you’ve made a decision to engage. Plant a garden, make regular visits to Whole Foods Market, or the local farmer’s market. Give it your energy.

Soup- JJ’s Easy Veggie Soup (onion, garlic, olive oil, water, zucchini, broccoli, parsely, kale, raw cashews, sea salt, pepper)
Berries with Chocolate Dipping Sauce ( raw, unsalted almond butter, chocolate powder, agave, vanilla bean or extract)

Wednesday, September 14th from 6:30-7:30 pm

Space is limited. Please rsvp sprdb.marketing@wholefoods.com to reserve your seat.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

#3 -The Marriage

When you commit yourself, managing your relationship is what
makes the difference between a healthy or an unhealthy union.

Kale Salad
Nut Cream with Berries (raw macademia nuts, medool dates, 2-3 oranges)

Wednesday, September 21th from 6:30-7:30 pm

Space is limited. Please rsvp sprdb.marketing@wholefoods.com to reserve your seat.
OR sign in on facebook clicking HERE

Fit 2 love final for WF RB class

There are times when I want to be Picasso in the kitchen, so I use many ingredients and enhancements to create a fiesta of flavors in my sauces.  When I was given these tomatoes, I found that I didn’t have  a lot of time so I decided to do this as quickly and simply as possible.  Wow!  I was in shock and amazement at the taste -I had to do it again and again and share the recipe with you.

Start by using a large deep pot (one big enough for the amount of tomatoes you have.  I used a small one the first time and this last batch was bigger)

The tomatoes were from my client’s garden but the onions were from our garden. I turn the heat on low, add some olive oil and lightly saute the onions first

Wash and cut up tomatoes and put them in the pot- saute in olive oil for less than 2 minutes.

You only saute the onions first to get that caramalized flavor- they will be cooked along side the tomatoes to make them softer.

Do not add anything else- no water or tomato paste necessary!  I used to use a little of both and since eliminating it all together, it makes this sauce so much faster and better!

What you can add is crushed garlic (or regular cloves of garlic), basil, oregano, salt, pepper, and anything else you may want in your tomato sauce.

I used fresh basil from our garden plus one or two frozen basil cubes from Trader Joe’s because I wanted more basil than we had!   I also used 1-2 heaping tablespoons of crushed garlic ( I love garlic) so if you only like it, I’d use less.

Cook this over low to medium heat for at least 20 minutes.  Because it splatters, I put the lid on.  This will keep the moisture locked in so when you want to thicken it after blending, cook with the top off.

I added pink sea salt and fresh ground pepper before I starting cooking but save the bulk of the salt and pepper for after it’s all blended so I can really only salt to taste.

Years ago,  I would have used a blender because that’s all I had.  Until recently my mother gave me a Cuisinart Smart Stick- I love this thing.  However, I did not like using it with mashed potatoes- it made the texture weird to me. ( prefer a hand mixer for mashed potatoes)

After the tomatoes cook, I turned the heat off.  This little gadget can be put right in the bowl or pot that you are using to make less mess and easier cooking- love it!

After blending it, I took the stick out and tasted it to see if I needed more salt and pepper. Once spiced the way I like, I turned the heat back on low, put the lid on half way, leaving it open to allow the moisture to evaporate, and cooked it for another 20 minutes or so until it was a little thicker.

Here is my finished product.  I LOVE homemade sauce.  It’s extremely easy and inexpensive.  Plus it’s healthier and more vibrant because we use organic gardening and this produce came right off the tree and from the ground and into my kitchen.

I will be bummed when tomato season ends here.  I do put the sauce in jars but I have not yet taken on “canning” yet so this sauce does have a shelf life in the refrigerator.

So start to finish, it take less than 1 hour but you can put a timer on for the 40 minutes it cooks (before and after blending) and do other things.  Just make sure to put on a timer that has a beeper so when you walk away, it WILL remind you with sound.

And I wouldn’t recommend you go too far…wouldn’t want you to burn the house down because I told you to multi-task!

Happy sauce making!

I have a feeling some of you can relate that to your diet and exercise program maybe??

Well none the less, I am now involved in a group where I am held accountable for posting new videos every week.   Today’s video is short since it was not really planned in my schedule but my deadline was quickly approaching.

Feel free to post questions or topics you’d like to see more information about. I plan to go through both of my books and pick out some of the information I give there in video form.

If you need some accountability on getting in quality exercise, attention to your daily diet, or how to shift your mindset so making healthy choices is EASY…. get in touch with me.   800 571 5722/  invisiblefitness.com